wishes_xjanx (wishes_xjanx) wrote,

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Of Hesitations and Uncertainties

Title: Of Hesitations and Uncertainties
Pairing(s): HyukMin
Genre: Fluff, Romance
Rating(s): PG; 2131 words
Summary: In which Hyukjae and Sungmin are idiots... Idiots who are hopelessly in love with their best friend.
Author's Note: Inspired by this. Unbetaed, and I think I've lost my touch on writing fics.. =/ Oh well.. But for once I've exceeded the 2k wordcount for HyukMin! You can't imagine my joy.

Anyway... Enjoy! ^^


It was hard to keep it in.

Seeing him everyday, forcing himself to act nonchalantly... Sungmin didn't know how much longer he could keep up with it. Every time he tried to look away from him, he ended up staring instead. It was bad enough that some of the members had figured it out, but the thing was, he couldn't seem to suppress it within himself.

He knows it himself that his eyes will always follow that person whenever he's in close proximity, so it comes to no surprise on how he always finds reasons for his stares. Whenever that person was speaking, he would always reason with himself that it is basic courtesy to look at the person speaking. Whenever that person was a distance away from him, he would reason that it is natural for him to look out for his dongsaeng.

It was difficult, but he managed to conceal it... Or so he thought.


Hyukjae was not stupid. Sure, he may be oblivious at times, but he could definitely feel that something didn't feel right with Sungmin recently. The smaller man was smiling, laughing, and projecting a cheerful persona, but he could see that those smiles never reached his eyes and those laughter didn't have the same tinkling sound it used to have before. His eyes seemed sad, empty - like something was missing.

Hyukjae didn't know what to do. He knew very well that they had drifted - at least, sort of - ever since Donghae came into the picture. It was not that they had done it intentionally, it just happened. But then again, it was mainly due to another reason altogether.

Hyukjae was in love with Sungmin.

And he didn't want his feelings to be found out, so when Donghae came along, he took the chance and tried to distance himself. It was easy, really. Donghae was rather similar to him and they became best friends almost instantly. He knows he had hurt Sungmin when he did that, but it was inevitable - Sungmin was straight and could never reciprocate his feelings.

Yet those feelings never faded away, and he wanted so much to hear that tinkling laughter and to see that dazzling smile again. He wanted those eyes to look at him with pure mirth and not of sadness, nor emptiness.


Sungmin sighed, pulling his legs to his chest and leaning his head on his knees. He was tired, he knew. It was tiring to act like nothing was wrong, and he was all happy smiles and goofy grins. Maybe it would be better to just leave.. He shook his head. No, he couldn't do that to his family... He just had to tolerate it. He had done it for so long already, what difference will it make if he continues?

Sungmin was so deep in his thoughts that he was startled when the door slammed open. He swiftly turned his head to the door, only to see the eternal maknae. He was hopeless, he thinks, to hope that it was Hyukjae who opened the door. He was hopeless to hope that Hyukjae figured out that he wasn't okay. He shook his head to clear his thoughts before offering a small smile to the latter.

"Hey Wookie," he murmured softly.

"Minnie hyung, stop doing this to yourself!" Ryeowook demanded as he entered the room and closed the door silently.

"I'm not doing anything in particular, Wook."

The younger narrowed his eyes. "You know very well that I don't believe that."

Sungmin sighed inwardly. He knows. He could never hide it from Ryeowook no matter how he tried. His best friend was the first to figure out, and was the first to confront him. He told him everything, of course. He had to, or else he had to face Ryeowook's coercing skills, which he would never want to find out. Not in this lifetime anyway.

"There's nothing else I can do, Wook... I'll be fine."

The eternal maknae frowned as he crawled onto his bed. "No you're not. You're torturing yourself. I can't bear to see you like this each day," he said softly, wrapping his arms around the older's shoulder. "I still think you should tell him -" he paused for a moment when he saw Sungmin glaring, "don't look at me like that - it will be for the best. At least he will know what you feel, and what if he accepts you? How can you be so sure he'll reject-"

"He's straight and I know it. Wookie, I'm fine the way it is. I don't want to change it."

"Even if he rejects you, it will be better than you being like this. At least you could move on without regrets."

Sungmin shook his head. "If he knows, nothing will be the same again. It's okay the way it is now, Wook. I'm okay."

The younger sighed before squeezing his hyung, "I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks, Wookie."


Hyukjae stood outside the door with his hand in position to knock when he heard talking inside the room. Silently, he placed his head on the door to figure out who was inside. He knew this was wrong, that he shouldn't eavesdrop, but he was curious. He had heard a door slam and immediately went to find the source - only to arrive at Sungmin's room. He had been worried, but now he figured it was someone else who had slammed the door.

The voices weren't clear, but he could catch bits and pieces of the conversation. It was when everything fell silent inside that his mind processed what was going on within the room. He frowned. So Sungmin had someone he likes? He felt a bubble of jealousy creeping into his heart as he glared at the door. What.


Sungmin wasn't sure if what he felt was right, but he felt that Hyukjae had been staring at him lately. He couldn't be sure though, for the latter always looks away and pretends to be looking at something else. Sungmin doesn't want to know if it's true.


Hyukjae doesn't know what he's doing. He had been observing Sungmin for the past few days, trying to figure out who was the person he liked. So far he still had no idea who was the culprit who stole his Sungmin's heart. His. Warmth filled his heart at the sound of it. It sounded so nice but it could never be true. He sighed, running his hand through his hair before leaning against the wall in dismay.


He looked up at the voice and gave a small smile.

"You okay?"

He spared a glance at the figure he was looking at previously before turning back to the other and nodding.

"I'm okay, Hae."

Donghae looked at him skeptically. "Don't lie to me. You don't look okay."

Hyukjae sighed again, "I'll be fine. Just give me some time."

"Why don't you just talk to him?"


"It'll solve everything, Hyuk."

He shook his head, "It's okay the way it is."


"If it comes to this, we need to use force."


"We have to force them to be in the same room... Alone. It's the only way they will talk to each other."

"And how will we do that?"

"Easy. There's you and me."


"Minnie hyung~" Ryeowook bounced into the room where Sungmin sat reading. He looked up from his book and smiled. "Hyung, could you accompany me somewhere today? Please? It's just a short while."

Sungmin tilted his head, "Sure, where?"

"Great! You'll know it when we get there!" The younger chirped as he pulled the other along.


"Hyukkie?" Donghae stuck his head into the room.

Hyukjae hummed a reply as he sat up on his bed.

"Can you come upstairs for a moment?"

Hyukjae raised an eyebrow, "What for?"

Donghae grinned as he opened the door fully and grabbed the other's wrist.

"I have something to show you. Come with me!"


Sungmin thought it was odd when Ryeowook dragged him to the lift, only to press the twelfth floor and then pulling him into the apartment.

"Wook?" He asked in confusion, "I thought-"

He cut short when he felt himself being pushed into a room and the lock being turned. He widened his eyes in surprise before banging on the door.

"Wookie! What are you doing?"

"Sorry hyung, but I really can't stand it any longer. It’s better if you face him."


"You'll know it soon enough. The door can't be unlocked from the inside once it's locked from the outside, so don't think of escaping! I'll be going now~" Ryeowook sang, the sound of his footsteps getting softer and softer.

"What? Ryeowook!" Sungmin banged on the door a few more times before sighing and sitting on the bed. Just what is the younger planning?


"Hae, what is it?"

"It's something special, you'll see it when you get there," Donghae replied as he pulled him through the apartment and to the door, unlocking it with a key before literally pulling Hyukjae in and jumping out. He then locked the door without hesitation.

"Have a great chat, you two!" He shouted, grinning.

"What? Hae!" Hyukjae banged the door as he tried to turn the knob.

"Donghae!" He called again, only to receive no reply.

"It's useless, it can only be unlocked from the outside," a soft voice said behind him.

Hyukjae turned swiftly, his eyes looking around before it fell onto the other on the bed. The older gave a gentle smile, "Hi."


"Ryeowook brought me here just a few minutes before you," Sungmin chuckled bitterly, "So
I guess it came down to this huh... For them to force us here... They must have planned this..." He tilted his head to look at the younger, "Did you have something to say to me?"

Hyukjae grimaced as he took a seat at the edge of the bed. "Well... I..." He paused, unsure of what to say, before he turned around to face the smaller man. "Min ... Can I ask you a question?"

The older looked at him, puzzled. "Sure... What is it?"

"W-who ... Who is it that you like?"

Silence fell on the two as Sungmin looked at the other with wide eyes. "W-what? There isn't-"

"I overheard you talking with Wook the other day... I couldn't hear everything, but what I do know is that you have someone you like.. Who is it?" Hyukjae asked again as he looked down at his lap and played with his fingers.

"I... Why do you want to know?" Sungmin questioned.

"Aren't I your best friend?" The other shot back.

"It isn't important," the older said, his back now facing the younger.

"Yes it is... Tell me."


"I want to know. Please Min?" He pleaded.

"And why is that?"

Hyukjae growled in frustration. "Min, why wouldn't you tell me?"

Sungmin turned around then, and stared straight into the other's eyes, "Because it's not important and those are my feelings. You don't need to know."

"But I want to! I want to, dammit! I love you!" Hyukjae blurted before he widened his eyes and clasped his mouth. "...shit." He looked at the older for a reaction only to see him with his mouth agape as he stared back at him with disbelief. For a split second, both of them didn't utter a word when Sungmin finally spoke up.

"R-really Hyuk? You .. You love me?" He whispered the last part softly.

Hyukjae dropped his eyes to his lap again and nodded, sighing and hating himself for blurting it out. He was about to tell the other not to worry about it when he felt warm arms encasing him and a sweet scent invading his nostrils. He sat motionlessly in disbelief as Sungmin wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his head into his shoulder.

"You idiot. For how long?" The voice was murmured, but Hyukjae could hear it just fine.

"Since our trainee days..." He mumbled, not entirely willing to admit it to the other.

He heard a soft gasp before the other pulled away to look at him.

"Seriously? And you hid it for so long? You're such an idiot," he reprimanded, flicking a finger at the younger's forehead.

Hyukjae caught his hand as he pulled away, and smiled tentatively. "Min.. Does this... What-"

Sungmin grinned, "I love you too, my idiot."


"How is it, how is it?"

"Shhhhh I think they're talking!"

"There isn't any sound!"

"There is! It's just too soft!"

"So? What did they talk about?"

"...I think I heard a moan."

"... What?"


"Did you hear that?"

"Yes... So... Shall we go?"

"... Let's.."

Tags: fanfic/pairing: hyukmin, fanfic: eunhyuk, fanfic: fluff, fanfic: one-shot, fanfic: romance, fanfic: sungmin, fanfic: superjunior

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